Trident Industries has unveiled a new plan to help recent students buy their own homes, by way of working with investment owners and their own land holdings.
“We’re very rich,” said a company representative. “As in, we probably own half of Melbourne. And we wanted to give back to the community in a way that lets us…dampen the blow of taxes, and also out of
goodwill. Lots of goodwill. We settled on the idea of working with Melbourne conveyancing lawyers to help students find homes in this uncertain economic times. Because we might still be rich, due to
several legitimate offshore holdings, but not everyone else is.”
The scheme’s full details have not been revealed, but they seem to involve rewarding students who perform well at university with amenities according to their grades. Students who receive good marks will have access to water, gas and internet, while those who start to fail will have these removed.
“A few hours without water coming out of the tap,” says Trident CEO Dougle Tramp. “That’s what it’ll take to whip them into shape. Students of the nation are housed, and in return we get an entire generation of top students. I don’t see why this hasn’t been proposed before.”
Reports from property conveyancers have also suggested that students who achieve great success will receive the house at the end of their studies as a reward, providing incentive for them to work harder.
“They’ll have to work pretty hard for that,” said Tramp. “We can’t just give out houses like sweets. But still, Trident Industries will reward high-achievers with what they deserve, and we hope they’ll use that gift to continue to contribute to society. And if we want to headhunt a few, I don’t think that’s wrong.”
Melbourne conveyancers have expressed surprise at the conditions of this home ownership, but Trident has assured students that they will be receiving a fair deal.